Newlywed Wife Throws Shoes at Husband

PARTS UNKNOWN, Ohio (IB) – So, I’m sitting in my home office today looking for more models in pantyhose and heels, when out of my office window I see shoes flying out the back door of the neighbor’s house. Too bad they were various styles of men’s shoes flying through the air instead of some nice black leather pumps. It seems as if there was some unknown strife at the newlywed’s house this afternoon. My best guess is that the newbie wife caught her husband surfing porn or some credit card statements with unauthorized porn or phone sex charges on them. He ended up gathering his shoes and other articles of clothing that she tossed out the back door; she did show some compassion and tossed him a coat and hat for the below freezing weather here in Ohio.

This is a scene that is probably played out numerous times across the world each day. There is a serious lack of communication that takes place between married and unmarried couples when it comes to sexual preferences and fetishes. My guess is that the wife freaked out because the husband was looking at some freaky stuff online that she had no clue about. Her mistake was throwing his shoes out the back door; she should have been throwing her heels at him … that would have made the entire episode much hotter, at least for me.

So, because of the blow-up over his alleged online infidelity, she had him drive her to her parents house. This dude is in for one long weekend. He’ll be praying for Monday to come so he can go to work to escape the hell that his life has just become. He’s in for counselling sessions to save their marriage, computer monitoring software that tracks whatever he does online, and probably a sit-down with the pastor at their church to discuss his ‘moral’ failure. I don’t envy the guy because I can relate to him. A young wife with little experience with anything kinky is not a good choice for a man with non-missionary style sex on his mind.

My advice to her would be to first calm down. Then she needs to put on a sexy pencil skirt, crisp white blouse,black full fashion stockings with stiletto pumps and pull her hair back into a bun ala Lilith Crane from Cheers. After donning the appropriate attire to cross examine him, she needs to calmy extract from him the details of his non-missionary style sex life and fantasies. There isn’t much left that makes me blink twice, so she’ll need to educate herself on whatever fetishes he divulges under her cross examination. After understand his fetishes, she’ll need to decide if she’s going to incorporate them into their sex life, and if not, she’ll make the decision to dump him. If she doesn’t embrace his fetishes, he’ll just keep slutting around online and eventually seek to satisfy his fetishes with another woman. [I will refrain from discussing the possibility that he was online surfing for casual sex with another man because that would take pages to completely and accurately explain to the average midwestern housewife.]

As I write this, the lights are still out at the neighbor’s house and no one has returned home since the trip to the parents house. If things still look bleak for the dude tomorrow, I’ll need to advise him to grab what money he has in the bank because her mother will probably be advising her to leave him. I cannot stress enough the importance of covering your ass when trying to indulge your secret fetishes online. For those of you who have not confessed your fetish for women’s feet, shoes and pantyhose to your wife or girlfriend, please take this opportunity to do so. All you really want to do is kiss and sniff and rub your woman’s pretty feet; it’s not like you want a three-way with a shemale midget and a lactating BBW albino. Happy Holidays.

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